Cook-out today!! Everyone is helping out and hanging out. I’m making chocolate chip cookies. The weather is nice. It’s all so lovely. I love it here.
This is probably one of the most beautiful homes I’ve ever seen
I took this the last time I was home, I believe it was.
We went on a date to Olive Garden, which is my favourite restaurant. We’ll sit across from each other normally and hold hands and talk. Sometimes we people watch, but mostly we only watch each other.
I love his smile. The lines on his face, and the light in his eyes.
I love everything about him, and that’s pretty much the gist of it.
I don’t care about who I was ten years before, or even who I was two years before. I care the most about the person I’ve grown into this last year. Even in my darkest and most disturbing of times you didn’t shy away, you didn’t even flinch. I don’t know if I’ve could have made it through this storm without you. I know that sounds silly, but let me try and clarify this. I’m sure I would have made it through, I have too much moxy to have just given up. I don’t think I would have made it through as ME. I think, without you, a part of me would have faded, and not just the person-of-the-year-before- altogether, I’d be less whole. You offered me support when it was lacking, you offered me love in a way that healed me. You were the solid foundation, the safehouse in the earthquake of my trauma. You still are. I don’t think I can ever show my gratitude and appreciation for that. I am a better person because of you.
I wish I could offer you something more. If I could, I think I’d cut off a piece of my soul and give it to you. That’s how deeply I care, that’s how deeply I love. I feel almost sorrow for everyone else, because in my mind there is no way they can feel love like this. I feel it down to my bones, from the ground up. You’re my bestfriend, closer than even the girls I’ve known since I was a kid. No one compares to you, and next to your light, they all pale.
The distance is taxing and weary. The visits are never long enough. I miss you from the moment I walk away until the moment I see you again. I wake up in the morning missing you, I fall asleep missing you. I don’t feel connected to this place anymore, I haven’t for awhile, but since you it’s different. Bigger.
You feel like home.
Nowhere else but with you seems to really measure up.
I’m nervous about the future, what I am going to do, how things will turn out- but I am also excited. I love what we are building just as much as I love you. I honestly believe that we can manage anything together. Baby, I have no doubts about us. Not a single one.
